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How to NOT get hired – just follow these steps!

“There are no jobs out there” is a common belief among students and graduates nowadays.

But is that actually the case? Or is it that the quality of applications is rapidly decreasing?

Or maybe, because there really are no jobs out there, students rush to apply for anything that is made available and forget to double-check their applications?

In this blog post, I want to show you how you can definitely ruin your chances of getting a job, and provide you with some real examples of unsuccessful applications:

Step 1. Don`t check your grammar or spelling – the employer will understand you anyway.

“hey my name is ******** and i was wanting a career in audio recording. and i would like to get a job from you so i can get to know what i am doing in this career i have a little back ground in the recording section but that is at home and i am using sony tools.”

Step 2. “Keep it real” and get personal.

“I’m keeping this short ’cause I’m on my crackberry. OMG, The job looks dope, I’m in if you are”

Step 3. Don`t include your contact details – after all, the employers should put some effort into looking for ways to contact you.

Employer : “I recently received 3 emails for an internship position where the resumes included absolutely no contact information at all. Two of them didn’t even have their names on them!”

Step 4: Be completely honest about your dreams and aspirations in relation to the job you are applying for.

“My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.”

Step 5. State your expectations (demands) from the very beginning.

“I’ll need $30K to start, full medical, three weeks of vacation, stock options and ideally a European sedan.”

Step 6. Don`t hesitate to be ambiguous – this will without fail show your level of sophistication.

“While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility.”

Step 7. Play hard to get! Why bother answering all questions on an application form, when you could just specify “Further details available on request”. After all, if they want you, they`ll ask!

 

Please note that if you cannot see why these applicants did not get to the interview stage, you need to book an appointment with one of our Careers Consultants NOW! For details on how to do so, visit www.city.ac.uk/careers

 

Laterz, Victoria – Employer Liaison team

Employer Engagement Team

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