Money makes me sick
I hate money. Money sucks. Imagine how nice it would be to live in a world without money. Where everyone would live in constant bliss and harmony. Where your ability to survive and quality of life wouldn’t rest upon old wrinkly paper notes.
Meh, OK, I’ll take that back. A world without money is rather unrealistic. It would probably result in people poking each other’s eyes out and a world war breaking out every other week rather than nirvana.
But I still hate money. Sometimes I find myself lying awake at night worrying about how my student loan is steadily and menacingly increasing every day. Like a gigantic mountain of debt.
I feel like Gollum from the lord of the rings. Sitting in the corner of my room, cradling and caressing every penny I own while whispering: “My precious.” I’ll snarl at everything – like the rent and phone bills – and everyone that threatens to take it away from me.
Paying my tuition fee of over £5,000 every six months makes me want to throw my hands in the air screaming: “WHYYYY,” before scratching the face off the person who decided that Norway shouldn’t be a part of the EU.
I decided to go vegetarian some weeks ago, partly because I was traumatised after visiting a slaughterhouse last summer, and partly because meat is expensive. So now I basically buy piles and piles of fruit and veg every week for about £15. And that, ladies and gentlemen, turns into some very cheap dinners.
Being responsible for managing my money so my wallet isn’t empty halfway through every month has turned me into a budget Nazi. I know where the cheapest couscous is (Sainsbury’s in Old St., 500g for 79p – bargain!), oat flakes, loo rolls, pasta, vegetables, fruit, milk.
I’ve become the queen of buying cheap shit (‘2 for £3’, ‘buy 3, pay for 2’ etc.) although this sometimes proves to be counter productive as the food goes off before I get the chance to stuff my face in it. This, however, does not stop me – “Oh, it went off three days ago? Pfff, it’s probably fine,” I think as I eat some mouldy bread and drink lumpy milk. “I might end up being food poisoned, but at least I’ve saved some money. You can’t throw away food!”
Wow, I sound crazy. I promise I’m not. Really, I’m quite normal. Just trying to save some cash.
Feel free to share your experience below, and if you know of some secret underworld store where everything is ridiculously cheap – tell me.
Photos: http://www.internationalteflacademy.com/Portals/67369/images/student-debt-teaching-english-abroad-options.gif, http://oyster.ignimgs.com/wordpress/write.ign.com/59834/2012/12/Gollum-Smeagol-smeagol-gollum-14076899-960-403-600×251.jpg